Unplugged

I wanted to write about the excitement that I had with the prospect of playing guitar for a new group because I had really been excited. It was going to be the first time in a long time that I'd get to sit down and collaborate with people aside from those whom I've known for at least a decade.

But I don't want to go through with this anymore.

The prospect of writing and composing new stuff is great. But I don't think I want to do this with people, who outside of the collaboration, move among snobs. Now, of course, this may all be just a kneejerk reaction that comes from a long conversation that I've had with two people over the last couple of days. But I've sort of known about this based on what my ex told me some time ago about her short experience moving in those same circles.

I love creating stuff— obviously. And I believe in myself enough that, no matter how I can put myself down sometimes during conversations with other artists, I can go into a jam or any creative project and get out knowing that I've made contributions. But if it's songs that you're making, you have to play them. And playing them means you have to bring people in and spending time with them before and after playing. And to be honest, I don't want to spend any time with the people whom I spoke with recently.

I find them toxic.

While it was nice getting to chat with new people to get my mind off of things that my mind needs getting off of, those conversations sucked. All they could ever talk about was how some women are so stupid, some women are just out there to prettify themselves to hook up with men who have money, some women this, some women that. It's funny because right now, I just want to talk about how these women are so toxic and pretentious and outright out of whack.

Maybe there was some humour in all of that that I didn't get. I'm glad that I didn't. And to answer your question: no, I wasn't looking for a replacement of my ex.

It was for someone else.